When one black person makes a mistake, then it’s the whole black race, but when one black person does well, they are the exception?

Not true. What I said was….”Men not being men and making bad decisions, that is the problem with the black community. It is why we have a generation of no fathers because of jail and fear of responsibility. It is why we have so many single mothers.” Maybe I should have taken out “the problem with” and inserted “one of the major issues”. I still stand by the what I said. We have issues that need to be addressed from our families, black on black crime, definition of success, showing young men how to mature, and list goes on. But we have to look at these issues as a whole…not on an individual basis. If I looked at being black and the black community as just my family and friends then that is not a true reflection of this community.

I know problems exist, I know we cannot blame racism for all of our problems, but I know that it is a heartless event when black people who have more or who fit into the white “American ideal” can look down upon other black men and say that they are running from responsibility.

Now I’m lost. What is this “white American ideal” you are talking about and are you referring to family? What is the black version?

But, I’m not calling every black man trifling or every black child a bastard. Also, when I say that black men “are not doing there part” that is not supposed to a brush that I’m painting everyone with. If that were the case then that is what includes me and my children.

Wow and I say wow. I have not once said that we do not have problems, my problem is when the “Talented Tenth” just talk, talk, talk, but do not do anything to help the situation. I have been forever anti-BET and this garbage that is now parading around like Hip-Hop and glorifying the drug game. However, what really hurt me is how you said (and rightfully so) that Vick can’t blame his problems on racism, but then turn around and attribute his problems as the “trifling negro” syndrome. I just do not understand how his problems reflect every single black man’s problems. I am not making excuses whatsoever for ignorant knuckleheads, but I’m not going to Bill Cosby my black people either. When one black person makes a mistake, then it’s the whole black race, but when one black person does well, they are the exception? I’m wondering how you can be a good black man, know plenty of good black men, I’m married to a good black man, and then not see that the good in us is not the exception but only proof that black people are beautiful and have value and worth. We can’t fix hundreds of years of oppression overnight, and and we cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that many of the problems the black community (collective, and I mean that too) are facing are attributed to the past. Of course we must know better and do better, but my question is is when do we stop bunching all black fathers together and calling all black children bastards (because let’s be completely honest if we are saying this is a fatherless generation then that is essentially what we are calling these children).

When we do things like say “there are a lot of good dads” and then go on to say how trifling black men are, we are using the same value system to judge ourselves that the racist is using. It is like seeing a black woman at a table with her children in a commercial and automatically thinking “another single mother…wonder where the trifling dad is?” I suppose my point is not clear? I know problems exist, I know we cannot blame racism for all of our problems, but I know that it is a heartless event when black people who have more or who fit into the white “American ideal” can look down upon other black men and say that they are running from responsibility. I lay down next to a beautiful black man every night, and I know so many black men who are good fathers and husbands and I see the black community and black fathers as a beautiful thing, and I see our people as having potential to get better…if someone is always kicking you down how can you ever come up? Not only do my husband and I do the best we can to be there for our kids, we also teach them the love of community, and the true gift of giving to others what God has blessed us with. As soon as they let me into these libraries I pray to work with these young black men and women in the eye and say “you’re wonderful” instead of feeding them the same crap (hip-hop) and unbelief in them that the world (and unfortunately their own people) feed to them daily. I love my people. I believe in my people. Good and bad. If Jesus isn’t judging, neither am I. I’m praying and I’m working towards the change. I think we all should.

Blessings.

The justice system is not blind. It is harsh on black men. There is racism. There is still sexism. Being poor puts you one step behind. Injustice is out there but we can’t keep using that as an excuse and justification for ignorant knuckleheads.

And we do have a “fatherless generation”. Lets not kid ourselves. There are alot of good dads out there but we have a largenumber of children who barely know or interact with their father. All I can do is make sure my two kids don’t have that problem no matter what happens between me and my wife. That I keep that committment to raising them and provide for their needs no matter what.

Once you have made it why do some of these men feel the need to reach back in an illegal manner. Why not open some franchises, why not start a real estate business. I guess they just don’t think they will get caught. Nate Newton did it here in Dallas, and I just ask myself why, why? Is it the thrill, is it the need to keep it real.

This actually hurt. The black community has a bevy of issues stemming from years of oppression, racism, segregation, and every other ism and ion you can name. While Vick did put himself in that bad position and he must carry the weight of his responsibility, I wonder how that became a railing on the entirety of the black community? The community of which we both belong? Generation of no fathers? Wow. I was raised by a single mother and it wasn’t that my father had a fear of responsibility, it was because they didn’t work out. We know there are problems with single mothers in our community, but how about unprotected sex being that problem as opposed to lack of anything else? The high percentage of black men in jail is not just a responsibility problem but a vicious cycle of poverty and disparity in laws with regards to race also. What my problem has always been is middle class black America disassociating itself with “them” instead of using what resources and talents we have to improve the situation. Unfortunately even those of us who are married with families who have “responsible fathers” will have children that make mistakes. God forbid, but if one of my sons were to have a baby out of wedlock and chose not to marry the mother of his child, I would be satisfied if they worked together to provide for the child instead of pushing them into this idealized standard of marriage that might lead to divorce or a life of unhappiness. It is almost like middle class black America is somehow “better” than the rest of black America because we’ve learned to assimilate, but at the end of the day, we still nigras too…if God is a God of second chances I say let us see the situation of the black community with understanding and reason, and know that the ones of us who know better will help those who do not.

My 2 dollars and 5 cents.